Somewhere in Jovan Miller’s garage in Camillus, N.Y., lies his first lacrosse stick. In seventh grade, his mother, Delbra, drove him to the Play It Again Sports on Erie Boulevard and purchased him hand-me-down gloves and a helmet along with the stick.

‘The helmet and gloves got beat up, so I had to throw those away,’ Miller said. ‘But the stick was significant to me. It still is.’

For Miller, the stick serves as a reminder of his first foray into a sport that has become his life. The game that has grown to become his personal sanctuary.

Armed with a different stick than that first one, Miller will lead No. 2 Syracuse (11-1, 4-0 Big East) into Arlotta Stadium to take on Notre Dame (7-5, 2-3 Big East) Saturday at 7 p.m. In the contest, Miller will look to add to his breakout offensive season that has included a career-high 12 goals along with five assists.

In Miller’s eyes, his penchant for precise 15-yard whip shots in the top corner of the goal that have come with almost each of his games this season was only a matter of time. It was the result of all of his hard work last summer, when he would resort to the sport as an escape from personal problems that haunted him day by day.

‘Especially the last few months,’ Miller said, ‘lacrosse has really been important to me with everything that’s been going on.’

Miller has always looked up to his older brother, Jeff. A former West Genesee standout two-sport athlete in both football and basketball, Jeff earned a basketball scholarship to Alvernia, a Division III school in Pennsylvania.

Ten years separate the two brothers. Jovan’s father, also Jeff, said Jovan often revered and sought the approval of his older brother as he made a name of his own as a dual-sport athlete in both lacrosse and football at Syracuse’s Christian Brothers Academy.

‘I think growing up, of course, (Jovan) always idolized his older brother,’ Jovan’s father said. ‘And I think when (Jeff) was so successful, sometimes you’ll have criticisms from your big brother.’

That’s what made last summer so difficult for Miller.

After his brother moved back to Syracuse from Jacksonville, Fla., Jovan and Jeff fought often. Jeff told his parents they cared more about doing everything in their power to help Jovan and not him.

‘My brother actually came after me a few times and we got in a big argument, and it got to the point where one time me and my brother exchanged words,’ Miller said. ‘It got so bad that there were things like, ‘I don’t consider you my brother,’ were exchanged. And that was one of the things that really got things going in the wrong direction.’

While battling bouts of depression, Miller turned to lacrosse. If he felt down, he would take a ride. To the park, where he would play wall-ball with himself. To West Genesee High School, where he would shoot at the cage until darkness settled in. To the Syracuse campus, where he was able to jog, train and release some stress.

When he wasn’t playing lacrosse, he would watch film of himself in his first two seasons at SU, critiquing his every move. Sometimes, when he finishes work at the Loretto Heritage Apartments on East Brighton Avenue, his father stops by Jovan’s apartment to find him in the midst of an intense film session.

‘He’ll be into it with the rewind button on,’ Jeff Miller said. ‘And (he’ll) say, ‘Yeah, I did this well. But I didn’t do this.’ That’s something he loves doing. He teaches himself.’

Lacrosse has been an emotional sport for Miller since starting his keen interest in the game in seventh grade, years after many of his peers in the lacrosse-heavy Central New York area. When Syracuse lost to Princeton in 2002, completing a three-peat for the Tigers, Miller remembers nearly tearing up.

This time in the summer, he was playing lacrosse to let out his emotions.

‘He turns to lacrosse and he gets out on that field,’ Jeff said. ‘That’s just an outlet for him. He’s pretty much out there in that open field, and that’s where he can get a lot of that thinking done and a lot of that aggression going. Jovan’s trying to please everybody and he’s just like, ‘Gee, you know, get off my back. Let me get out here and play some lacrosse.”

Jovan and his brother have smoothed things out in their relationship since last summer. They talk before and after each game.

But the times were trying. Far from having a normal, peaceful summer with his family, Miller felt distant from one of the people he thought was closest to his heart. Still, he insists that the time was one of the most important he’s ever had to endure.

‘It was really one of the things that, looking back, I appreciate the most,’ Miller said. ‘Because whenever I felt some kind of depression or some kind of anger, I’d just go train. So it really got me focused on the season because right now, lacrosse is pretty much my vacation.’

And that focus on lacrosse got Miller more confident than ever of his game. He credited his summer experiences as the single reason he’s finally realizing the potential he said he knew he always had.

And it’s shown in his results on the field. Coming into the season as primarily a defensive midfielder in his first two seasons with the Orange, Miller has shone on all ends of the field. In addition to his 17 points, he’s scooped up 46 ground balls, second on SU next to junior longstick midfielder Joel White.

Among others, including freshman midfielder JoJo Marasco and graduate assistant coach Pat Perritt — who played with Miller for two seasons — White is noticing his teammate’s emergence.

‘Coming into the fall, the work Jovan does over the summer is just unreal,’ White said. ‘You can tell he’s been working all summer on his shot and on his dodging. He’s dodging and creating stuff offensively for us now.’

When it comes to this season, Miller is just as emotional as he’s always been about lacrosse. ‘I’ve kind of looked back and I know everything has fallen into place the way it has because of whatever,’ he said. ‘You know, karma or whatever.’

But Miller can trace all of that emotion back to last summer. Back to that national championship game.

Back to that stick.

Said Miller: ‘Lacrosse has been a refuge for me. It’s been a refuge ever since I picked up the stick at first.’

bplogiur@syr.edu

Published on April 28, 2010 at 12:00 pm